


There is a Light

by angelicghoul



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-08 15:08:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelicghoul/pseuds/angelicghoul
Summary: Modern au. It all started with an innocent night to forget his past, Levi didn't expect it to end the way it did. Fluff and angst.





	1. Take me out

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first chaptered fic in a long time. It's set in modern times. Hope you enjoy c:

“Take me out tonight.” Those were the words that left the man’s lips. 

The man on the other side of the phone laughed. “Whatever you say.”

That was that, he didn’t ask questions. It was a quality that Levi liked in his best friend. There were no uncomfortable interrogation sessions, he would take his word for it. Just what he needed that night, as he paced outside of the place where he had lived. A brick house, three bedrooms but only one was occupied. Deathly quiet, he was sat on the porch. The sun had long gone and only the dark was left. He sat down on the porch, sick of waiting. A sigh left the man’s lips as he leaned his head back. It had been a while since he felt welcome in his home. It was empty, but he could still hear them sometimes. It was often on nights like these that he would be standing outside the bathroom, thinking it was occupied. He could hear her singing but as he pulled at the handle, it would open and there it was. Empty. His eyes had started to close, he was lost in thought. They were still there, even in his dreaming. This time, their faces were twisted, crimson splatters on the ground. No, not this again.

“Levi.” A stern hand shook his shoulder abruptly. 

Instantly, his grey eyes opened as they focused on the taller blond man who was stood in front of him now.

“Sleeping out here again, huh?” A soft voice spoke as Levi glanced to the side, unable to look Erwin in the eye. He didn’t respond as he scrambled to his feet.

“You can’t keep doing this, you’ll get sick.” He sighed. 

“Fuck you. Let’s go asshole.” Following his usual reply, Levi shoved his leather jacket into the arms of the taller man. He had already started walking to the car as Erwin followed without argument. 

“Charming as ever.” He smiled as Levi made a face. The dark-haired man grumbled under his breath as the car was unlocked, taking his seat. Waving back his hair with his palm, his eyes were set on the path ahead. This was normal for them, for him. He looked forward to nights like these when he wasn’t stuck on his own, not that he would admit that to him of course. The younger man shifted in his seat, leaning his elbow on the door. It was certainly more comfortable than the porch and not as cold. 

“So, where to?” He asked as he started up the engine, already setting out from the street.

“Anywhere, I don’t care.” Vague as ever but he didn’t complain, this was normal for Levi. 

“Alright. Let’s go to that club I told you about.”

“Aren’t you too old for shit like that?” Levi’s eyes locked on him, snorting. It was petty, maybe, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t help it, or so he had told himself. His eyes were on his, thoughts pushed away to the back of his head. The present mattered, not the past, he had to remind himself of that. 

“Hey, I’m not that much older than you.” The older man shook his head as Levi scoffed, his eyes now on the road once more.

“Right. Officer Smith trying to get down with the youngsters. That’s so lame.” 

“I don’t think anyone’s used that phrase since 2001, Levi.” Erwin snorted, nudging him.

“Fuck off.” He rolled his eyes, as a hint of a smile appeared on his lips. He didn’t know how he did it, but already he felt calm, the troubling thinking already seeming to vanish. This was what he needed, to be away from that place.

“Anyway, I know you don’t really drink but I thought you could use a night out and maybe a couple of drinks. It would do you some good.” The blond was smiling as he drove on, he could even at the corner of his eye. 

“What about you? You’re driving, maybe we should get a cab instead...” His eyes switched back to him for a moment. The other man’s expression didn’t change, as his gaze stayed ahead.

“It’s fine. Tonight’s about you anyway.” Reassuring, calm, that was his best friend.

“God, you sound so pathetic Erwin.” He scoffed while he couldn’t stop thinking why he cared. It didn’t seem right, he was sure he didn’t deserve any shred of sympathy. It was always the same and he didn’t argue with him because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Pathetic, it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re okay.”  
Okay, fine, happy. He was certain that those words didn’t belong to him anymore. He wasn’t the same kid getting into trouble without a care. Too much shit had happened, yet he didn’t voice his unhappiness. Instead, he brushed it off with a lie. It felt easier to do than be honest. It was just simpler. He was quiet after that; the rest of the journey was steeped in silence that was only stopped when the car stopped. The nightclub was loud, music blaring from every corner. He was too old for this…

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Levi rolled his eyes as he saw the queue of people, most looked to be at least ten years younger than himself.

“Well you were the one who wanted to go out, remember?” That grin again. Scowling, he reached up for his jacket, snatching from the other man’s grasp.

“You always have to be a fucking know it all, jerk.” He mumbled as he already took his spot in line. He was lucky that it didn’t take too long before it started to dwindle and he was free to take off, towards the bar. Erwin followed him without compliant, standing beside him as he hopped up on a stool.  
“I’ll have a whiskey.” Levi’s attention was towards the bartender. 

“I’ll get this one, and a water for me.” Erwin nodded.

“You don’t have…” He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“No it’s fine. You deserve it, my friend.”

There it was. That stupid grin again. He wouldn’t change, not that he wanted him to. Drink in hand at last, he knocked it back, his throat burning.

“Another?” The blond asked without questioning. Why did he had to be so damn irritating?

He didn’t answer, but he had already ordered another for him. He was too good to him, had been since they met. 

“Okay, I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be two minutes. Okay?” 

“I’ll be fine, don’t piss yourself, now go” He practically shoved the taller man as he walked away to the men’s bathroom that was at the other side of the club.

Drink in hand, he watched him leave. It wasn't pleasant, it tasted like acid, vile and putrid. How he longed for a cup of tea but it didn’t have the same effect. All he wanted to do was forget who he was, just for a while. The music was still overbearing, his ears ringing already. This was not the best of plans, he was tempted to call it a night as soon as Erwin came back. In fact, that was what he was about to do as he jumped down from the stool. Making his way through the crowd, he froze. It looked like them. A red headed girl, a tall brunet. It sounded like them but it wasn’t. 

“Levi…” He turned around but of course it was not her. All he could see was the blood, their bodies. ‘Fuck, no, no not again.’ He backed away from the crowd, knocking back the drink that was still in his hand. He went back for another, another, until he could no longer see straight. Lost in the sea of people, he couldn’t find him.

“Levi where are you?” It was them, it was his fault. People were staring as he froze, cupping his face with his hands

“No!” The glass smashed on floor, the sea of eyes still on him.

“Levi!” A familiar voice shook him away from his living nightmare. He didn’t move at first, he couldn’t. arms wrapped around him and he folded into them.

“Come on, let’s go home.” His embrace was comforting but his words had the opposite effect.

“No! I don’t have a home Erwin!” He shouted, trying to push him away but Erwin’s arms wouldn’t budge. Why did he have to be like this?

“It’s okay, you can stay with me.” 

He didn’t contest as he staggered back, following him. He wasn’t sure how much he had to drink, but already his stomach was churning. Cupping his mouth, he was already there beside him.  
“You okay?” His vision still fuzzy, couldn’t tell if it was an expression of genuine concern or sarcasm.

“Yes, I’m...” He paused, turning his head. “Just give me a minute.”  
Erwin nodded as he waited for him. Retching, he never felt so ashamed. He had made a fool of himself and he still felt so damn empty. Wiping his mouth, a tissue he luckily had in his pocket, he turned back to his friend who helped him into the car.

“You don’t have to do this...” Levi slurred as the other had already fastened his seatbelt.

“It’s no problem. You’re my best friend, you know that.” A hand brushed his cheek, his eyes on him again.

“You put up with all my shit, I’m sorry…” His eyes didn’t leave him. It was true, ever since they met he was sure he did nothing but cause the other man trouble. Yet he never complained, even when he had breakdowns in public.

“No, I don’t mind it.” He shook his head as Levi grabbed his hand, holding it there.

“You should, I’m pathetic.” It wasn’t a lie, it was how he viewed himself. Before Erwin could protest, he drunkenly crushed his lips against his. He wasn’t thinking, it was a reckless, stupid move but he didn’t feel him move away at least not at first.

It was only when he realised what he done that he pulled away first. “Shit sorry, I screwed up.”

“You didn’t.” His eyes looked sincere, he didn’t break away his gaze. Levi looked away, he couldn’t look at him. He just wanted this night to be over.

“Just drive.”


	2. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but here have another chapter!

Sunlight filtered through the window. The glares threatened his eyes, as they started to flutter slightly open. What hit at first was that he was laying down, albeit not comfortably neither. It felt uneven and…

A little shifting later and he ended up on the floor of the car, wedged behind the front seats. Not comfortable at all. He craned his head up, as he tried to comprehend why he was there. A sharp tap on the window made him sit up, although he didn’t pull himself up onto the seat just yet. Middle finger pressed to the window, he shot Erwin a look. Of course, he had him to blame for this ridiculous situation. The front door opened and the raven-haired man pulled himself up, finally upon to the back seat. His hand grabbed the faded blue blanket that he happened to had found draped over him as he scowled at Erwin.

“The fuck do you call this?” He snarled, tossing the blanket around.

“What? That’s a blanket, Levi.” Erwin chuckled, a glass of water in his hand. “Here.”

Levi grabbed it, causing some drops to fall on his clothes from yesterday. Not that it mattered, he already felt like shit. “Right. My back kills and I hate you.”

“Oh okay. Well, you were the one that fell asleep in the car, I did try to move you but I only got as far as the back seat. You kept kicking me.”

“I did not, I would remember.” He frowned, sipping the cold water. The glass felt heavy in his hand, his head clouded. Not that he had much to drink either, it was just one of those nights.

“Did too. Hey, I made breakfast, it’s in the kitchen.” That smile again, it was always the damn same. He would do something stupid but Erwin would just accept it, smile and do something for him that he didn’t deserve. Why did he have to be this way?

There was very little complaining would do, instead he hauled his tired ass from the car, slamming the door shut. The blanket was subsequently shoved into the arms of the other man. “I don’t want your pity.”

“It’s not, I have to eat before work and there was some left over for you so...”

Levi rolled his eyes and had started to wander into the house with the glass of water still in his hands. He forgot he had work, although he should have realised, judging by the other man’s uniform. He had a job, unlike himself. The house itself was tidy, as it had been for as long as he’d known Erwin. It wasn’t a clean as it could be, but it wasn’t a complete pig sty either. The hallway was full of paintings that he never did care for and a vase that had to been there such the 19th Century. His friend did have an odd taste, which was more old than anything. The kitchen was the same, beige walls, wooden dining set. Upon the table laid a plate of pancakes and a pitcher of orange juice. Without a word, he sat down on one of the wooden chairs, prodding the faded lilac tablecloth after he placed his glass of water on a coaster. “You know this has been here since the prehistoric times, right?”

“Just eat, now is not the time to bitch over my taste in interior design.” The taller man sat on the opposite side of table, pouring himself a glass of juice.

“Mhm, what taste?” He smirked, cutting up a piece of pancake and stabbing it with the fork. He took a mouthful and chewed before he spoke again. “What time do you start work anyway?” He asked with a light yawn.

“It doesn’t matter. How are you feeling? You must be hungover, you were pretty out of it last night” The concern that washed over his friend’s face annoyed him. He was a grown man for god sake, not a child. Then again, he wouldn’t listen to him anyway.

“I wasn’t. I don’t get drunk, Erwin.” He nodded, taking another mouthful. He absentmindedly wondered where he learned to cook because it tasted so damn good and so much better than his usual breakfast go to, cereal or dry crackers.

“Oh really, then what do you call last night?” The man raised an eyebrow and Levi looked away and sighed.

“You know damn well I wasn’t drunk.” The shift in tone was sudden, but not unusual for him. He knew by now that he could handle his alcohol or at least he should of knew.

“Sorry, I know. You were having a rough time and—” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as eyes stared him out.

“Stop.” The fork fell against the plate, which he instantly corrected. Suddenly, he wasn’t that hungry anyway. He knew where this was going and already was not in the mood.

“I’m sorry I won’t bring it up again.” Sympathetic blue eyes caught his, but he just scoffed. He always had to meddle and it seemed like he did a very good job at it, without trying too hard.

“Good.” The plate was pushed aside as he held the glass of water by its rim. It was cold, but he felt numb. Just like every day.

Uncomfortable silence followed, but he could already see him trying to make more conversation. It shouldn’t have been difficult, they were best friends. It shouldn’t have been this hard to speak to the man he trusted the most in this world.

“So, you know you can stay here if you want to. I have a guest room and it’s ready for you.” Typical, he said the same thing all the time. Maybe to someone else it would have been a good thing but he should of expected his response by now.

“No thanks.” He placed the glass back on coaster, toying with the frayed edges of it. he certainly needed to revamp this place.

“You can’t keep sleeping outside. If you won’t stay here, Hanji has a spare room. I can give you their number?”

“That mad scientist?” He glanced back at him, his hands resting on his lap.

“Forensics officer, Levi. It’s not the same.” He shook his head.

He just shrugged, he didn’t feel like gracing him with any more words than needed. Honestly, he couldn’t care less where he slept as he was just fine, or at least he told himself that.

“Okay, I’ll call them for you.” Another shrug.

“Shouldn’t you be going to work?” It was already eleven, from what he understood was that he was usually at work long before now.

“Nah, I’m working later. Anyway, we should talk about—”

He froze, he knew where this was going. Again.

“No, Erwin.”

“What? I was just saying we should talk about last night, I’m worried about you.”

“Liar. Stop it. Nothing happened.” He gritted his teeth, getting up from the chair. He wasn’t drunk, he remembered exactly what happened. That kiss, his vulnerability showing yet again.

“I wasn’t even talking about that!” He didn’t raise his voice, he never did, he just looked at him, with that face. Empathy. God how he hated it.

“Fuck you. You can shove your pancakes up your ass.” He snarled as he knocked over the glass of water with his plate as he stormed off. He didn’t look back to see if he followed, he didn’t see the point. He was done arguing and done trying to be the friend that he was before. He wasn’t the same, he could never be the same. They weren’t even similar, they were too different.

He was _done._

* * *

 

It was cold, he was still wearing his shirt from last night. He hadn’t gone back into his house, only to the store. A bottle of whiskey was in his hand as he gazed up at the sky. It was dark. Long had he forgotten the time had sat out here, it seemed like a lifetime. He had no intentions of moving or calling him. It would end up the same way. It always did.

At the corner of his eye he saw a car and someone waving over at him, window down.

“Fuck off Erwin” He said, without looking at it properly.

“Hey don’t worry! It’s just me.” Oh.  
Hesitantly he got up and approached the car.

“And what do you want?” He asked although he already guessed.

“Erwin called and he was—”

“Worried about me?” He scoffed. That man was too predictable.

“Yeah, lucky guess! Anyway, the offer still stands. I have a spare room and it’s warm. Oh and I have beer.” Hanji beamed as he sighed. It was a risk, even though he already knew them. Erwin’s friend was harmless and a lot less of a hassle compared to the man himself. At least they didn’t ask too many questions, that was a positive.

“Just for a few nights. I need to apartment hunt.” He nodded as he made his way over to their car.

“Yeah sure, company’s great anyway. It gets lonely sometimes in that apartment all by myself.” They rambled as Levi walked to the car door. Opening it, he sat in the passenger’s seat.

“It’s not that far away from here either, I think you’ll like it.”

“Just drive, four eyes.” He rolled his eyes as they said no more.

* * *

 

He had tossed and turned that whole night. The guest room was nice, more modern that Erwin’s place at least. Hanji was right, it was a rather nice little place and they had left him to his own devices. Sleep never did come by the time morning came. He understood that Hanji had work at seven, as he heard them get ready to leave. He pushed over the bedroom door and padded into the living area.

“Hey sleepy, it’s early you should get back to bed.”

He shrugged as leaned against the wall. “I’m already awake anyway.”

“Oh okay. I should be back later. There’s plenty of food and stuff and your whiskey is on the side counter. You’ll be okay, right?” Hanji asked, grabbing their keys.

“Yes, I’m not a child. Please don’t treat me like him.”

“Oops my bad!” They apologised pulling open the door.

“Ooh what’s this?” They held up a blue duffle bag as his eyes caught sight of it. A crude post-it note laid on top of it, scrawled in black marker was ‘Levi.’ Instantly he rolled his eyes.

His phone buzzed and he decided not to check his messages and he took the bag from Hanji.

“This is from him?” Levi nodded as he opened the bag. A few shirts, jeans. Placing it down, he waved Hanji off.

“Go on, you’ll be late.” He sighed as he watched them leave. Closing the door, he checked his phone.

_“Sorry for yesterday, it was uncalled for. I got you a few things since I know you didn’t bring anything with you. Maybe we should go get some dinner later, if you’re not mad at me. Erwin.”_

He tossed his phone onto the couch and did the same with the bag. He watched as the faded blue blanket tumbled out as he picked it up. Why did he have to make everything so damn hard for him?


End file.
